Keep Asking!

My husband Eric had been out of a job since October 27th of last year.  It's been a hard time, having to tell our children "No, not right now." or " We don't have the extra money for that right now." It was hard, but necessary. I had said a lot of, "Be grateful for what God has already given you.", "You know there are other children who don't have any toys." and "We are really blessed because people care about us, and God has put them in our lives."  I felt like a broken record.

My oldest was really upset about it, and very worried about us not having a place to live, or stay.  Although, that was never a topic, she just assumed the absolute worst. I was so heartbroken for her. I continued to tell her to talk to Jesus about it, and to know that we wouldn't be on the street. To continue to ask Jesus to bring Daddy to the right job. Also to continue to ask him to continue blessing us and others.

My middle daughter, she just has the optimistic attitude that maybe next time she'll get it. It was hard to tell her no a lot too, because the things she wanted was little things. But the little things add up, and I always felt that she wasn't going to understand, but then she started to realize that " No" didn't mean never.  Thankfully.
She asked when Daddy was going to get a new job.  A lot of the time, I said in my head, "Lord I hope you bring him one soon." , but I always told her I didn't know but to please pray for Jesus to lead him to the right one.
My youngest Lilly, she's 3 and 1/2. She's completely unaware that Daddy isn't leaving the house like he used to.  She just likes playing with him while he is home.

Me, I just kept praying everyday, asking him to continue to bless us.  Thanking him for the ways he works, and how he has continued to supply us with the things we needed. Each night, it was different, but the same.  I continued to place my faith in God, and continued to ask and praise and a day came when my husband got a phone call.

He had been told that they wanted to hire him for a job. He went in interview went well and he came home to  tell me that it was between him and 3 other people.  There we sat waiting for the call. I dunno about you, but waiting for a call is torture. It's like the time moves slower.   But the next day the lady called back and said that they chose someone else. BUT.    Now.. there's always a but.   She had one more place that she would pass his resume to, and get back to him.   My husband was disappointed. He thought for sure that it was the one for him.

The waiting continued and they wanted to meet for an interview.   He went to the location, and from the very start, everything was messed up.  They said he was there on the wrong day. Although, he was actually there on the right day. They rushed him through the interview. Never let him ask any questions.  Told him it was for the wrong shift, wrong rate of pay, even wrong position.   He left really upset about the whole thing.  He was feeling very nervous and unsure of what was going on.   He was even contemplating to NOT take the job. I told him that maybe we should just wait over night and sleep on it.  I asked God that night to show him the right thing to do. We went to bed nervous, but open to see what God wanted.

The next morning, I felt compelled to tell my husband that he should take the job. I was so tired of seeing him just hang out at the house, like he was lost and not sure what he was going to be doing.  So I just said, "I think you need to take the job."   He of course was like, " Huh?"   But then I said, "Maybe we just need to wait this out a little bit more, and see if God works further?"  

That's just what he did!  Day 1 of training Eric comes home, and has a funny smirk on his face.  I ask him what's so funny??  Well, turned out that he went in and trained for a few hours with the lady who he would be working with. He got pulled outside for a few minute to talk to the manager, and they told him,  "Well Congrats you are new 1st Shift Shipping and Receiving Clerk."    What?!   Turned out the lady who was training him lied on her application, and they had to let her go.  First, of course, I was so excited for him. It was exactly what he wanted!   Then I felt bad, since someone had to lose their job in order for Eric to get in there. So, I said prayers for that lady. And  I praised God for working in our lives.  I just had to continue to ask, and ask and ask.  God heard my prayers. He even answered. He gave me 3 different answers in that time.  Wait. Nope not this one, and Yes!   It was hard to see it while it was going on but it definitely showed.

The Life of Unemployment and God.

A lot of what our family is going through right now, is being with a little less this season, and learning to cope with children asking questions, and requesting this or that.  My husband has been without a job since the end of October, and since he was sick, (reason behind loosing his job) he was not able to file for unemployment.  It hasn't been fun, to have to tell our kids no so often, but they are aware that we don't have the extra money for this or that.

This morning at the bus stop, I had to tell my daughter no, that we couldn't get a present for an exchange at school. Even a 2 dollar gift for a girl, that they send a note the week before, throws me off, and well we just really can't afford it.  I haven't really flat out told my daughters that we have nothing for extra stuff, because well they settle for the "We just don't have it right now." excuse pretty well.   I am hoping that the teachers plan for things like that.

Now, God plays into this too.  He will provide for the things we need, at his own pace. Which right now doesn't seem to be at my pace, but that's something I work on everyday. Learning to put my faith in him through prayers, and patience.  So far we have not gone without.  He always comes through with whatever is needed. It's just a frustrating time of year.  Hoping that although my mother in law is always a great grandma to our children and they, thanks to her, are going to have a great Christmas, I hate having to depend on others for my children's happiness.  

It's really difficult to not break down in front of my kids, and luckily we were able to get them each 3 toys for under our tree, which actually is what I wanted under our tree. Why you ask? I wanted them to learn that when Jesus was born, he was given 3 gifts.  It was enough for him, why would it not be enough for them?  Not only that, I really want them to know what the gift  that God gave us, with the birth of Jesus.  To learn that they will always find hope and faith in God no matter what happens, and praying that our needs are met, no matter what time it comes, its in his plan. Jesus gives us the chance to pray to God and for him to listen to our prayers.  I hope that God has been hearing their prayers. I have asked them to pray for their Dad, for their family near and far, and for friends and people they don't even know.   Asking God to bless them with the same things that we are so lucky to have.

I am usually an optimistic person. I say usually because, well I'm human and sometimes things just happen, and I can't bare it all.  This is when I usually say, "Jesus take care of this because, I can't bare it alone!"  It's easier said with your mouth, than with your heart.  Sometimes I have to ask multiple times, but it does finally lift off of my heart.
Sometimes you have to remember that God gave you free will. Mistakes are made, by your choices of free will.  You also can not keep blaming old mistakes or sins, you've got to move on from them, and learn from them.  My husband's last job was a double edged sword.  12-16hr shifts 7 days a week sometimes, not knowing if he would be working a 8, 12 or 16hr shift because in their contract, they have 20 mins before your shift ends to let you know what you will be actually working.  But the paychecks were nice, and we had all our bills paid each month and extra money to spend if we wanted to use it.    My kids didn't get to see their Dad, except on maybe the weekend, because 2nd shift is the shifts of weekend Dad's and Mom's.  But it was a job, and we weren't struggling.  I don't know how to say this without sounding ungrateful, but How is a family supposed to function, without a parent around during the week. How is a sick parent able to rebound from being sick, if they expect you to work those kind of hours?   I've been praying for a first shift job for my husband.  I don't even care what they pay him at this point.  I know God will provide for whatever we need, but I hate seeing my husband here, just unhappy and depressed, and feeling like he is failing his children and wife.  

I just ask that if you pray, please pray for our family and that our needs are met, our faith is strengthened and that we as a family become closer.