Making Friends

With those who have children, making friends usually comes easy, you share a pencil, toy or other random object, fireworks happen the bond is made and you're now friends.  Usually.  Now I know that many children who have special needs, this isn't always the case.  This is the case for our youngest.  She's usually friendly with all children.  Though she doesn't lock arms with a special friend, until she is finally learning social cues, and remembering them. It's really hard for a parent of both children who have special needs and kids who do not have special needs, to remember some times that they won't be on the same levels on many things. While hoping your child does surprise you and show you new things.

Lilly has had a lot of new things happening in her life.  She had went without OT for a month. Started a new school routine, starting from never being in school to even riding the bus all by herself to and from school.  She's learning a new routine throughout the day. Which is hard with a child who thrives on routine, let alone a child who is 3 years old.  She's learning that she is able to do somethings by herself, and tells me so.  (Yay for independence!!!) She's finally learning that things are okay to do without Mom and Dad right near by. Coping skills are going through the roof.

We had been asking Lilly about children at school. If she had any friends at school.  She's been going for about 3 weeks, and thought, " Okay she should have at least a friend that she likes the most out of all the kids in her class."  At first, she would become real shy and not say anything when we would bring up school and friends.   She and I laid down the other day for a nap,  hoping to spend a little quiet time before she actually went to sleep.  I had to work at it, but after having her talk about her favorite toys at school, I popped the question.  "Do you have a favorite friend at school?"   Lilly started to smile, "Yes...."   "You do?! What is their name?"    Lilly whispered, "Izzy".     In my head, I shouted, " FINALLLLLLLLLLLY!!!" and did a happy dance.  Ha ha.  I finally got her to open up to me, and tell me with her own words, who was a friend to her.  She continued that they like to play in the kitchen area together.    

Her SPD and anxiety has caused her to not be the touchy type, and that's okay. I'm sure that she will learn to cope with hugs and such from other people, since she has already learned that it's okay with us, her family.   She has a friend and has become comfortable with her. That is such a huge thing for Lilly, and I celebrate that for her, and with her.  In her own ways.  Just being able to get her to convey that she has a friend verbally, is fantastic! She's learning to verbally express herself, slowly but surely. A pace, that might not be what "regular" kids might be at, but she's progressing and that's all I ask of her.

1st Dental Visit..Check! Meltdown...Check!

Yesterday was Lilly's first dental visit ever. Yeah, sounds like I've been slacking in the motherhood department. Though she's 3 years old, and I have really been trying to find a dentist who is familiar with special needs kids since she was 2yrs old. Thankfully I called the Special needs preschool's nurse who suggested this dental office.  With Lilly having such bad anxiety with doctors since she was 1 (between the pulmonologist and the regular ped, it was like we were at a doctors office every other week) and her SPD pertaining to her sensations in her mouth. I had to work extra hard with her with brushing since her SPD has given her a hard time with the sensations in her mouth, being extra sensitive to touch.  She is to the point where she will let me brush them, which is fantastic for her, but I had no idea what the dentist would bring. Well I knew, it wouldn't be good.. but I was prepared for a fight.

I always prepare for the worst, hope for the best and when it's horrible for her, I don't feel extremely horrible.  I have to do it this way because I know that if I prepare for the best, I then feel 10x worse when I have to hold her down, pin her legs with my legs and let random doctors touch her.  This was the case yesterday.

Here's a vision for ya.   Me in a dental chair all the way back, holding Lilly on my lap, hugging her with a bear hug from behind and my legs crossed over her legs so she doesn't kick the hygienist. Crying, and screaming but still at least holding her mouth open long enough to let her get the look she needed.  Once the hygienist touched her, it was meltdown city, although she was gentle with her(Sure let me be the bad guy holding her down and all while you gently check her out!)  it was her gloves that I think threw her off.  Then, here comes the polish. Can you say, meltdown 10x bigger?  This poor child of mine, bit the polisher, but then slowly relaxed and although still crying, and trying to scream "No!" , she at least kept her mouth open a bit and they finished up.  Well... at least for the next 5 minutes, the dentist has still yet to come in.

While I get her to settle down, which usually takes at least 15 minutes,  only took 5 minutes this time, thankfully, only to have her freak out even more when the dentist had to have her sit back in the dental chair with me.  Bless this dentists heart, allowed her to sit facing me in a regular chair, and laid her back into her lap and was basically the same chaos above but quicker.

All for no cavities and an A+ report for the preschool.  They even invited her back.  In 6 months.  Now I know it's a necessity, and I am not saying I would neglect it getting done, but I just know that this will be a reoccurring story as the years go on.  On the way home,  I was watching her in the mirror and she just looked so spent and worn out.  She was so tired, and fell asleep, but I can't help but want to just keep apologizing to her for the horrible day we just had.  I felt so helpless seeing her like that. As a parent, you just want to keep them from the worst possible situations and I couldn't today. Because it had to be done.  The things you have to do really bite some times!

1st Dental Visit..Check! Meltdown...Check!

Yesterday was Lilly's first dental visit ever. She's 3 years old, and I have really been trying to find a dentist who is familiar with special needs kids since she was 2yrs old. With Lilly having such bad anxiety with doctors since she was 1 between the pulmonologist and the regular ped, it was like we were at a doctors office every other week. I had to work extra hard with her with brushing since her SPD has given her a hard time with the sensations in her mouth, being extra sensitive to touch.  She is to the point where she will let me brush them, which is fantastic for her but I had no idea what the dentist would bring.

I always prepare for the worst, hope for the best and when it's horrible for her, I don't feel extremely horrible.  I have to do it this way because I know that if I prepare for the best, I then feel 10x worse when I have to hold her down, pin her legs with my legs and let random doctors touch her.  This was the case yesterday.

Here's a vision for ya.   Me in a dental chair all the way back, holding Lilly on my lap, hugging her with a bear hug from behind and my legs crossed over her legs so she doesn't kick the hygienist. Crying, and screaming but still at least holding her mouth open long enough to let her get the look she needed.  Once the hygienist touched her, it was meltdown city, although she was gentle with her(Sure let me be the bad guy holding her down and all while you gently check her out!)  it was her gloves that I think threw her off.  Then, here comes the polish. Can you say, meltdown 10x bigger?  This poor child of mine, bit the polisher, but then slowly relaxed and although still crying, and trying to scream "No!" , she at least kept her mouth open a bit and they finished up.  Well... at least for the next 5 minutes, the dentist has still yet to come in.  

While I get her to settle down, which usually takes at least 15 minutes,  only took 5 minutres this time, thankfully, only to have her freak out even more when the dentist had to have her sit back in the dental chair with me.  Bless this dentists heart, allowed her to sit facing me in a regular chair, and laid her back into her lap and was basically the same chaos above but quicker.

All for no cavities and an A+ report for the preschool.  They even invited her back.  In 6 months.  Now I know it's a necessity, and I am not saying I would neglect it getting done, but I just know that this will be a reoccurring story as the years go on.  On the way home,  I was watching her in the mirror and she just looked so spent and worn out.  She was so tired, and fell asleep, but I can't help but want to just keep apologizing to her for the horrible day we just had.  I felt so helpless seeing her like that. As a parent, you just want to keep them from the worst possible situations and I couldn't today. Because it had to be done.