Making Friends

With those who have children, making friends usually comes easy, you share a pencil, toy or other random object, fireworks happen the bond is made and you're now friends.  Usually.  Now I know that many children who have special needs, this isn't always the case.  This is the case for our youngest.  She's usually friendly with all children.  Though she doesn't lock arms with a special friend, until she is finally learning social cues, and remembering them. It's really hard for a parent of both children who have special needs and kids who do not have special needs, to remember some times that they won't be on the same levels on many things. While hoping your child does surprise you and show you new things.

Lilly has had a lot of new things happening in her life.  She had went without OT for a month. Started a new school routine, starting from never being in school to even riding the bus all by herself to and from school.  She's learning a new routine throughout the day. Which is hard with a child who thrives on routine, let alone a child who is 3 years old.  She's learning that she is able to do somethings by herself, and tells me so.  (Yay for independence!!!) She's finally learning that things are okay to do without Mom and Dad right near by. Coping skills are going through the roof.

We had been asking Lilly about children at school. If she had any friends at school.  She's been going for about 3 weeks, and thought, " Okay she should have at least a friend that she likes the most out of all the kids in her class."  At first, she would become real shy and not say anything when we would bring up school and friends.   She and I laid down the other day for a nap,  hoping to spend a little quiet time before she actually went to sleep.  I had to work at it, but after having her talk about her favorite toys at school, I popped the question.  "Do you have a favorite friend at school?"   Lilly started to smile, "Yes...."   "You do?! What is their name?"    Lilly whispered, "Izzy".     In my head, I shouted, " FINALLLLLLLLLLLY!!!" and did a happy dance.  Ha ha.  I finally got her to open up to me, and tell me with her own words, who was a friend to her.  She continued that they like to play in the kitchen area together.    

Her SPD and anxiety has caused her to not be the touchy type, and that's okay. I'm sure that she will learn to cope with hugs and such from other people, since she has already learned that it's okay with us, her family.   She has a friend and has become comfortable with her. That is such a huge thing for Lilly, and I celebrate that for her, and with her.  In her own ways.  Just being able to get her to convey that she has a friend verbally, is fantastic! She's learning to verbally express herself, slowly but surely. A pace, that might not be what "regular" kids might be at, but she's progressing and that's all I ask of her.

Thanking God.

We went this week to have Lilly evaluated at the Diagnostic Center for special needs preschool.  Her SPD is really affecting her abilities to feel her inside need to use the bathroom. (As well as other skills.)  This is holding her back from attending preschool, since a lot of the head starts and preschools in our district will not allow children to attend unless potty trained.   So we went to see what their group of professionals thought they could be able to offer her if they felt she could benefit from preschool with special needs assistance.

The morning started off by her just playing in a lobby type of area until the doctors and professionals finished up talking about each of the kids that were to be coming in for evaluations.  There were 3 other children and they all seemed to play nicely.  We were greeted by a Parent Mentor, who is basically another parent of a special needs child who knows what goes on in meetings and can answer most questions for you. She is there to help ask questions for you if you are not sure what you need to know.  It was comforting to know there was someone else for you as a parent.    Then they allowed all the kids into the playroom.  The instant they said it was time to go play in the classroom,  Lilly ran through all the people frightened, and said " Mama will you go in there with me?"   I told her, "Of Course!"  And we went in although when she was greeted by some of the other adults in there, she hid behind me and clammed up.  Which for her, is the norm.  I thanked God.

She was able to venture off once she saw the slide.  She then soon was able to venture off without us, she slowly warmed up to the other kids, and started to talk to the other adults if they asked her questions.  There were a few times, when we peeked through the window to the room to watch what she was doing.  Eric saw her interacting with an adult and the adult went to touch her to redirect her to another part of the room, and she threw her hands up and told her " Nooooo!"  She didn't want her to touch her at all.   I chuckled and thanked God for it.

You know, I was really happy that she was having these reactions.  I had asked God that morning to show them what hinders her learning.  We go back on the12th to find out what they have decided for Lilly.  I really hope they are able to help her with putting her into the special needs preschool.  She would be in a class mixed with non special needs kids too.  I know she is mentally able to excel. She already knows many many things.  She really just needs a little help here and there to keep her going.  I don't want her to fall back because of the fact that her body isn't working for her right now.    She'll be okay if she isn't accepted, I will just have to work a little harder with her. I just hope that God has her plan in the acceleration lane.  I really do Thank God for her. She's so cute and wonderful.