Little Steps.

My child's world is very easily interrupted as with most kids with SPD worlds are easily interrupted. My husband who usually works the day shifts, had to work 2nd shift this week. This made her world topsy turvy. Friday-Sunday she kept asking for us to go to Appointments. "Appointment" usually is the term we use for Occupational Therapy (OT). She really wanted to go, which is NEVER in her plans. She usually is not a fan of doctor appointments, but then the light bulb flickered and she was really saying, "I want to go to Therapy!".

She goes to OT every Wednesday morning. She has good days with leaving my side, and some bad days. A good day is a day where she walks into the rehab room without any tears or sad faces. Last Wednesday was a whimpering day, after saying bye mama, and small lip pouting out, she went in. It was an emotional session. I could hear some crying, but not until she came back out to me at the end of the session did really show how conflicted her little body really is. Her crying, while saying " Mama I so happy! (enter hard crying and heaving) "So glad to see you Mama!" She had a hard time during her session. The previous week was fantastic. Even sat for a full 15 minutes to do an activity. No tears and no problems.

I noticed this week she found our hair brush. She started to rub various limbs and her belly with it on her own. It's not as soft as the Brushing brush we used for Brushing techniques at the beginning. We had stopped using it because instead of it calming her down, she would fight and fight it. She was doing it on her own, and paying attention to how it actually felt. I asked her to do it to me, and she did willingly. She was actually seeking it out. I had never seen her do this before. A little step in the right direction.

She also has been seeking smells. The other day Dad asked her why she had her sniffer on in the kitchen. She could smell the chicken cooking. He had sprayed body spray before work, and she went downstairs to sniff around down there too. She makes it obvious that she is actually seeking by sniffing loudly.

Saturday I tried putting her in big girl underwear, to help encourage her to go on the potty. I saw her grab herself, and took her right up. She fought me up until she got on the potty. She was okay with sitting there. No tears, and was excited for the "duck potty!" She actually went! She realized it was okay, and she actually went. I was so happy for her. She was so happy about it. Later of course she got busy and went in her panties, but it was okay, because she took litte steps and actually went in the potty!

At this time all I can ask for is little steps. Since we are waiting for an actual dx on her, and a full evaluation, we have really been trying the best we can to cope with her ups and downs throughout the days. Some days are better than others. I wish that I could have taken her to an appointment. Especially because, I wish I knew exactly how they did the therapies, so on the days she actually asks for the appointments, I could help her by trying those things. There's a lot of questioning myself. A lot of, "Am I enabling her reactions or am I helping her?" A lot of, " What could be triggering her?" and many "Why can't her sister's just understand, she can not handle that?"

You know they say that with some days kids will have a bad day after you have a bad day. I am sure that is amplified with kids who are SPD affected or on the Autism Spectrum. I hope that we can as parents can notice the tiny steps they make in progress. I find it very hard to some days. Though, there are those days where the little steps are so plain and simple, that you personally take a step back and realize, "It's really going to be okay."