Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Making Friends

With those who have children, making friends usually comes easy, you share a pencil, toy or other random object, fireworks happen the bond is made and you're now friends.  Usually.  Now I know that many children who have special needs, this isn't always the case.  This is the case for our youngest.  She's usually friendly with all children.  Though she doesn't lock arms with a special friend, until she is finally learning social cues, and remembering them. It's really hard for a parent of both children who have special needs and kids who do not have special needs, to remember some times that they won't be on the same levels on many things. While hoping your child does surprise you and show you new things.

Lilly has had a lot of new things happening in her life.  She had went without OT for a month. Started a new school routine, starting from never being in school to even riding the bus all by herself to and from school.  She's learning a new routine throughout the day. Which is hard with a child who thrives on routine, let alone a child who is 3 years old.  She's learning that she is able to do somethings by herself, and tells me so.  (Yay for independence!!!) She's finally learning that things are okay to do without Mom and Dad right near by. Coping skills are going through the roof.

We had been asking Lilly about children at school. If she had any friends at school.  She's been going for about 3 weeks, and thought, " Okay she should have at least a friend that she likes the most out of all the kids in her class."  At first, she would become real shy and not say anything when we would bring up school and friends.   She and I laid down the other day for a nap,  hoping to spend a little quiet time before she actually went to sleep.  I had to work at it, but after having her talk about her favorite toys at school, I popped the question.  "Do you have a favorite friend at school?"   Lilly started to smile, "Yes...."   "You do?! What is their name?"    Lilly whispered, "Izzy".     In my head, I shouted, " FINALLLLLLLLLLLY!!!" and did a happy dance.  Ha ha.  I finally got her to open up to me, and tell me with her own words, who was a friend to her.  She continued that they like to play in the kitchen area together.    

Her SPD and anxiety has caused her to not be the touchy type, and that's okay. I'm sure that she will learn to cope with hugs and such from other people, since she has already learned that it's okay with us, her family.   She has a friend and has become comfortable with her. That is such a huge thing for Lilly, and I celebrate that for her, and with her.  In her own ways.  Just being able to get her to convey that she has a friend verbally, is fantastic! She's learning to verbally express herself, slowly but surely. A pace, that might not be what "regular" kids might be at, but she's progressing and that's all I ask of her.

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