Flash Back Friday- 2008

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My Flash back is to August 2008.  Now it doesn't seem like that was all that long ago. Date wise, but when you check it out by what is in a photo, it show's a lot more.  Lilly my youngest is now 3 1/2 years old and when you see this photo, she was 3 days old.  

She was in the NICU for the first few days of her life, and I didn't get to hold her for a good couple of days. Which killed me by the way, since my other children were born without any complications and nobody told me about what you might feel when you don't get to hold your baby right away, or might have breathing problems.   Her whole story is HERE. She was so cute, her cute little chubby(raw from the nose canula stickers) cheeks and her little quaint look, I fell in love with her right away.  How could you not?!   I had a new found respect for NICU nurses, and at the time there was another little girl in the room with her. We were so fortunate that we were able to take Lilly home only after a few days.  The other little girl was born many weeks early, and was half of Lilly's 7 lbs.  She did finally go home, a few months later, but still I was thanking God for the gift of our daughter going home.  I remember it feeling so empty at our house without her there.  There was a definite puzzle piece from our family puzzle  missing until she came home.   Lately, she's doing better of course, and is learning what preschool is all about, but Lilly is what was on my mind this week.

New Year, New Adventures

Hannah and Lilly, my oldest and youngest, are both cursed with my horrible ear problems.  They have both had drainage tubes placed, Hannah twice, and Lilly once.  It's been a trial on Hannah mostly, especially since that Hannah  is getting older and is starting to remember more and more.  Although, I wish I would have remembered more of what happened when I was 5 and 6years old,  I know it wasn't all fun.

I took the two girls to the E.N.T. today, I was actually gearing up for the worst day possible because Lilly really dislikes doctors, and the last trip we took here it was her screaming the entire time and they weren't even 2ft near her. So, we did a lot of prepping.  A lot of  "What is going to happen at the doctors appointment tomorrow?" and " He is going to look into your ears with the peeker and then the other ear." And I mean A LOT of that.   Well today it paid off!  Lilly sat on my lap and did fantastic. Not a peep, and although sat a little guarded, she turned her head for him to take a look without a fight.  I was so happy! Not a tear and she was great.

With anxiety and her sensory problems, it's been a struggle when it comes to doctors.  Not to mention, she's 3 years old. It's just the age. I was so surprised that she did as well as she did. Not to mention proud of her.  She starts school tomorrow, and although its only half day, she needs extra interaction with kids her age. I am hoping that she starts finding some motivation to go on the potty with the other kids also going.  She's going to have a good time but those teachers are going to have their hands full with her.  She's on her own terms, and I am constantly trying to break her of her own terms, put a little structure here and there, and she fights me. So I know she will fight them.

I am ready for this New Year, and it's adventures, lets hope the girls are too!

1st Dental Visit..Check! Meltdown...Check!

Yesterday was Lilly's first dental visit ever. Yeah, sounds like I've been slacking in the motherhood department. Though she's 3 years old, and I have really been trying to find a dentist who is familiar with special needs kids since she was 2yrs old. Thankfully I called the Special needs preschool's nurse who suggested this dental office.  With Lilly having such bad anxiety with doctors since she was 1 (between the pulmonologist and the regular ped, it was like we were at a doctors office every other week) and her SPD pertaining to her sensations in her mouth. I had to work extra hard with her with brushing since her SPD has given her a hard time with the sensations in her mouth, being extra sensitive to touch.  She is to the point where she will let me brush them, which is fantastic for her, but I had no idea what the dentist would bring. Well I knew, it wouldn't be good.. but I was prepared for a fight.

I always prepare for the worst, hope for the best and when it's horrible for her, I don't feel extremely horrible.  I have to do it this way because I know that if I prepare for the best, I then feel 10x worse when I have to hold her down, pin her legs with my legs and let random doctors touch her.  This was the case yesterday.

Here's a vision for ya.   Me in a dental chair all the way back, holding Lilly on my lap, hugging her with a bear hug from behind and my legs crossed over her legs so she doesn't kick the hygienist. Crying, and screaming but still at least holding her mouth open long enough to let her get the look she needed.  Once the hygienist touched her, it was meltdown city, although she was gentle with her(Sure let me be the bad guy holding her down and all while you gently check her out!)  it was her gloves that I think threw her off.  Then, here comes the polish. Can you say, meltdown 10x bigger?  This poor child of mine, bit the polisher, but then slowly relaxed and although still crying, and trying to scream "No!" , she at least kept her mouth open a bit and they finished up.  Well... at least for the next 5 minutes, the dentist has still yet to come in.

While I get her to settle down, which usually takes at least 15 minutes,  only took 5 minutes this time, thankfully, only to have her freak out even more when the dentist had to have her sit back in the dental chair with me.  Bless this dentists heart, allowed her to sit facing me in a regular chair, and laid her back into her lap and was basically the same chaos above but quicker.

All for no cavities and an A+ report for the preschool.  They even invited her back.  In 6 months.  Now I know it's a necessity, and I am not saying I would neglect it getting done, but I just know that this will be a reoccurring story as the years go on.  On the way home,  I was watching her in the mirror and she just looked so spent and worn out.  She was so tired, and fell asleep, but I can't help but want to just keep apologizing to her for the horrible day we just had.  I felt so helpless seeing her like that. As a parent, you just want to keep them from the worst possible situations and I couldn't today. Because it had to be done.  The things you have to do really bite some times!

1st Dental Visit..Check! Meltdown...Check!

Yesterday was Lilly's first dental visit ever. She's 3 years old, and I have really been trying to find a dentist who is familiar with special needs kids since she was 2yrs old. With Lilly having such bad anxiety with doctors since she was 1 between the pulmonologist and the regular ped, it was like we were at a doctors office every other week. I had to work extra hard with her with brushing since her SPD has given her a hard time with the sensations in her mouth, being extra sensitive to touch.  She is to the point where she will let me brush them, which is fantastic for her but I had no idea what the dentist would bring.

I always prepare for the worst, hope for the best and when it's horrible for her, I don't feel extremely horrible.  I have to do it this way because I know that if I prepare for the best, I then feel 10x worse when I have to hold her down, pin her legs with my legs and let random doctors touch her.  This was the case yesterday.

Here's a vision for ya.   Me in a dental chair all the way back, holding Lilly on my lap, hugging her with a bear hug from behind and my legs crossed over her legs so she doesn't kick the hygienist. Crying, and screaming but still at least holding her mouth open long enough to let her get the look she needed.  Once the hygienist touched her, it was meltdown city, although she was gentle with her(Sure let me be the bad guy holding her down and all while you gently check her out!)  it was her gloves that I think threw her off.  Then, here comes the polish. Can you say, meltdown 10x bigger?  This poor child of mine, bit the polisher, but then slowly relaxed and although still crying, and trying to scream "No!" , she at least kept her mouth open a bit and they finished up.  Well... at least for the next 5 minutes, the dentist has still yet to come in.  

While I get her to settle down, which usually takes at least 15 minutes,  only took 5 minutres this time, thankfully, only to have her freak out even more when the dentist had to have her sit back in the dental chair with me.  Bless this dentists heart, allowed her to sit facing me in a regular chair, and laid her back into her lap and was basically the same chaos above but quicker.

All for no cavities and an A+ report for the preschool.  They even invited her back.  In 6 months.  Now I know it's a necessity, and I am not saying I would neglect it getting done, but I just know that this will be a reoccurring story as the years go on.  On the way home,  I was watching her in the mirror and she just looked so spent and worn out.  She was so tired, and fell asleep, but I can't help but want to just keep apologizing to her for the horrible day we just had.  I felt so helpless seeing her like that. As a parent, you just want to keep them from the worst possible situations and I couldn't today. Because it had to be done.

Thanking God.

We went this week to have Lilly evaluated at the Diagnostic Center for special needs preschool.  Her SPD is really affecting her abilities to feel her inside need to use the bathroom. (As well as other skills.)  This is holding her back from attending preschool, since a lot of the head starts and preschools in our district will not allow children to attend unless potty trained.   So we went to see what their group of professionals thought they could be able to offer her if they felt she could benefit from preschool with special needs assistance.

The morning started off by her just playing in a lobby type of area until the doctors and professionals finished up talking about each of the kids that were to be coming in for evaluations.  There were 3 other children and they all seemed to play nicely.  We were greeted by a Parent Mentor, who is basically another parent of a special needs child who knows what goes on in meetings and can answer most questions for you. She is there to help ask questions for you if you are not sure what you need to know.  It was comforting to know there was someone else for you as a parent.    Then they allowed all the kids into the playroom.  The instant they said it was time to go play in the classroom,  Lilly ran through all the people frightened, and said " Mama will you go in there with me?"   I told her, "Of Course!"  And we went in although when she was greeted by some of the other adults in there, she hid behind me and clammed up.  Which for her, is the norm.  I thanked God.

She was able to venture off once she saw the slide.  She then soon was able to venture off without us, she slowly warmed up to the other kids, and started to talk to the other adults if they asked her questions.  There were a few times, when we peeked through the window to the room to watch what she was doing.  Eric saw her interacting with an adult and the adult went to touch her to redirect her to another part of the room, and she threw her hands up and told her " Nooooo!"  She didn't want her to touch her at all.   I chuckled and thanked God for it.

You know, I was really happy that she was having these reactions.  I had asked God that morning to show them what hinders her learning.  We go back on the12th to find out what they have decided for Lilly.  I really hope they are able to help her with putting her into the special needs preschool.  She would be in a class mixed with non special needs kids too.  I know she is mentally able to excel. She already knows many many things.  She really just needs a little help here and there to keep her going.  I don't want her to fall back because of the fact that her body isn't working for her right now.    She'll be okay if she isn't accepted, I will just have to work a little harder with her. I just hope that God has her plan in the acceleration lane.  I really do Thank God for her. She's so cute and wonderful.

Without Therapy.

Lilly's switching to every other week for OT because of the insurance and they cover X amount of visits.  Today was her first week without a visit. She was kind of bothered by not having an appointment today. It throws her off.  She is doing well with her treatment, but I'm noticing that she is becoming more overstimulated.
She has gone to take her nap, and then has a moment of her hands opening and shuting, then at the same time, she gets this really wide eyed look like she is out of control. This goes on for about at most,10 seconds and then she seems relieved.  I then, deeply rub her arms, legs and back to help with her relaxing. She doesn't seem to be able to control these little bursts, but its usually when she is overly excited for something.
She went to build-a-bear workshop today. We got to the sound board, and she LOVED it. We made it through the stuffing part, then we went over to brush it, where the air comes out of the faucet. She freaked and ran. She wanted nothing to do with that bathtub. Thankfully no screaming, just running away saying "No!" .
She went to bed early at 6:30 and slept until 10. Then she ate some dinner and happily went back to bed. I know as she gets older it will get easier, its just now I have to be patient.